Confuse

 I admit that till this day i can't really moving on from my past,

The feeling of fear triggered every life decision i need to take,

Same stereotypes that keeps repeating in front of us make us wondering did we actually did the right thing.

And at the end we always doubting ourself especially when we need to take a big step in our life.

She's a 10.

She's the one i ever looking for.

And sometimes that uinwanted feeling happen to growth between us.

While in the sametime she clarify that she does'nt want to give any hope towards me.

And in the meantime i felt completely confuse with the situation between me and her.

I'm being the safeplace for her to hear every lifestory she need to tell.

But in the sametime i need to cut or remove my feelings towards her.

How fair is that.

My heart always trying to ignored the feeling im trying to accept.

My mind tell me to do the other ways while my hearts says another.

Confuse on which step should i take on her.

Do i need to pretend like normal everytime?

I cant barely understand anymore what is actually going on.

And maybe i'm just a person that happen to be there.

I want to be a man that she can always hold up to.being the safeplace for every hardship her going through but this is'nt actually the situation i've ever imagine.

The situation where my story is unheard as a return,

Where i need to ignore my feeling temptation towards somethings ive been dreaming.

Loving her in silence is the only things i could ever done from the starts.

Just hoping that i can go back to the past in order to remove all the memopries created between me and her.

To acknowledge the presence of her in my mind and heart this whole time should be more than enough.

Praying that our path will be crossed again someday in a different way.

Wish me luck on forgetting someone that is much precious on helping my character to develop,

Don't stay up too late at night, Fill your stomach with something before you worked on anything.

Don't stressed up yourself over the things that you can't control,Take it easy.

Give yourself some space,Take a breath and make yourself a coffee or something.

Sometimes cries is the only option to the feeling of tired.Cry until your last tears drop.

And in the meantime if you missed towards someone just looking up at the sky.

Although we were far away from that person, We were at least living under the same sky.

With this being wrote i locked  this heart from anyone until i'm fully be ready to close this one chapter that still hanging.